Was a 3-Day Silent Meditation Retreat at Spirit Rock in Northern California Worth It? (Part II)
Spirit Rock Silent Meditation Retreat
Below was our daily schedule for each day of the three-day silent meditation retreat at Spirit Rock:
Schedule:
Our schedule was the same every day:
6:30 am - Morning Meditation
7:15 am - Breakfast
8:00 am - Work Meditation
9:00 am - Group Meditation
12:15 pm - Lunch
2:00 pm - Group Meditation
5:15 pm - Evening Snack
6:45 pm - Evening Meditation
7:30 pm - Dharma Talk
8:30 pm - Night Meditation
What I packed and ate
My usual day-to-day athleisure (my favorites are from Old Navy and Athleta) was perfect for meditating all day. I wore leggings, loose t-shirts, light jackets, and slip-on sneakers. I also brought my yoga mat, meditation cushion, water bottle, Kindle, and Remarkable tablet, which I use for daily journaling.
Neither my meditation cushion nor yoga mat was necessary - the retreat provided cushions that were larger, more comfortable, and better suited to sitting outside. A few people brought backrests which looked helpful since I started developing back pain after a few days of sitting.
Food was globally inspired, healthy, and yummy. We had set meal times for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We had oatmeal, fruit, and eggs for breakfast. Lunch and dinner included salads, vegetables, whole grains, soups, and fruits. Crackers and various nut butters were also available for snacking throughout the day.
Spirit Rock Silent Meditation Retreat
Day 1 Morning Group Meditation:
The following day, I awoke to my roommate waking at 6 am for the morning meditation, which began at 6:30 am. She had flown in for this retreat and certainly seemed more invested than I was. I was still pretty tired, so I slept in until 7:30 am. I then dressed and walked down to the dining hall for breakfast. Breakfast usually happened at 7:15 am, so I knew I had missed it.
I had about 30 more minutes before the day's morning meditation began at 9 am. I walked around and headed to my group meditation session at the meadow.
I settled in with my cushion on my yoga mat in the grass, ready for the meditation to begin. The instructor gave some guidance, and we started with sitting meditation. Unfortunately, I got distracted by the people around me and started feeling restless. At the transition into the walking meditation, I walked away from the group. I wandered along the property and found another spot to meditate. I alternated between meditating and journaling until 12:30 pm.
Unlike in the real world, where I felt time was constantly eluding me, time seemed to slow to a standstill in the retreat. The minutes ticked by slowly.
Day 1 Afternoon Work & Group Meditation:
At 12:30 pm, I meandered towards the dining hall and got in line for lunch. While waiting for lunch, one of the retreat staff members pulled me aside and asked me why I had left the group morning session. I didn't realize anyone missed my presence. I explained that I felt distracted in the group and wanted more alone time. However, she discouraged me from going off on my own again. I was surprised that anyone cared about my whereabouts, but I agreed.
After lunch at 1 pm, I walked to my work meditation. My task was to straighten the laundry room - a relatively easy task. I vacuumed the floors, disinfected door handles, and dusted the washing machines and dryers.
At 1:30 pm, I walked the property, taking in the rolling hills and brown buildings.
I thought how nice it was that my only responsibilities for these few days were being mindful of my thoughts and appreciating the nature around me. I felt I could savor life and enjoy living without responsibilities.
Around 2:00 pm, I headed towards our afternoon session. The session was held in a clearing under a tree, accessible by a short 5-minute hike. I tried to stay more engaged in the group meditation, although it was tricky. I could feel myself feeling disconnected from the group. We alternated between the now-familiar sitting and walking meditation, followed by a discussion. The afternoon seemed to drag on until 5 pm when the session ended.
I hiked down the trail to the main campus area, being careful of my step because I had been warned there were rattlesnakes all along the property.
Spirit Rock Meditation Retreat Grounds
Day 1 Evening Sunset Meditation & Dharma Talk:
I arrived at dinner at 5:30 pm and ate silently outside at a picnic table, watching the sunset.
After dinner, around 6 pm, I walked until 6:45 pm, when our evening meditation began on the patio of the meditation hall. I arrived at 6:45 pm to realize that all the best spots had been taken. So I found a spot on the outer edge of the patio and unrolled my yoga mat and cushion to settle in and meditate as the sun sunk lower on the horizon. This was one of my favorite parts of the retreat.
I felt showered in the sun's warmth and part of the community as we all sat together and watched the sunset.
Spirit Rock Silent Meditation Retreat
After a brief break at 7:15 pm, we gathered inside the meditation hall at 7:30 pm for the nightly Dharma talk about Buddhism and continued meditation. I found the discussion about how to handle anger helpful.
Our instructor suggested that meditation helped resolve anger. Before getting angry, we should pause. Then we should notice the story we were telling ourselves and sink into the feelings underneath that anger - usually hurt and sadness. And then communicate from that point. This message resonated with me as someone who had recently felt intense anger. It reminded me of the multiple benefits and teachings of Buddhism and meditation.
The evening meditation began at 8:30 pm, but I was tired, so I excused myself to get ready for bed and managed to be in bed by around 9:15 pm. I consider being asleep by 10 pm a highly successful day, so this was an incredible luxury!
Day 2 Morning Meditation:
Day two began similarly to the first day. My roommate woke around 6 am and headed to the early morning meditation at 6:30 am. I woke around 7:15 am, got dressed, and headed to breakfast at around 7:45 am. After savoring my morning oatmeal, I walked around the campus until 9:00 am, when morning meditations began. Our session this morning was on the back patio. Once again, I realized that I had already missed the best sitting spots by getting to the location on time. So, I placed myself in the back and began meditating.
Again, I found the instructor's voice soothing and his guidance helpful. I tried to focus only on my breath and made some progress, not letting my thoughts or emotions overwhelm and distract me from my breath. At the end of the session, I spoke to our instructor about being uncomfortable in group settings while meditating. He reassured me that this was a typical response and recommended that I sit facing away from the group.
Day 2 Afternoon Meditation:
After the usual lunch break, I arrived again at the lower meadow area for our afternoon meditation. Again, I took my former instructor's advice, sat away from the group, and focused on breathing. This helped tremendously. During the walking periods, I walked along the lower meadow, observing and feeling calmed by the beautiful nature.
The afternoon meditation was over before I knew it. I returned to the dining hall for dinner and back onto the back patio for our sunset meditation. I got there early to secure a shady spot on a bench.
I again reflected on the beauty and magnificence of the sun, which sustains all life.I also started feeling guilty about all the work I knew would be awaiting me when I returned.
Still, I pushed those thoughts aside and told myself that the world would not end if I took three days to enjoy nature and didn't check my email. After all, I wasn't that important.I skipped the evening Dharma talk to turn in early and get more sleep.
I was luxuriating in the ample time for rest, which always seemed insufficient in real life.Day 3 Morning Meditation:
I woke up reasonably restless. I knew I was leaving this afternoon and felt anxious about the departure and being fully present throughout the day. My morning meditation was on the back patio of the meditation hall. The instructor began the meditation by stating that it was common to feel restless before the retreat closed. She said we should stay present as much as possible and not hurry the day. It was no use; I could not sit still and concentrate.
At the end of the morning sitting session, the instructor pulled me aside and asked me how I was doing. I told her how I felt, and she responded that I was expected to feel that way. I told her I wanted to continue walking around on my own. She agreed that that would be best for me and urged me to be curious about why I felt restless and distracted. I thanked her for her support and wandered along.
I started to feel much more anxious about returning to the real world and feeling disconnected. So I decided to leave earlier than planned. First, I returned to my room and packed up. Then, I walked around the property, taking in the beautiful fields and thinking about the enriching experience one last time.
Spirit Rock Silent Meditation Retreat
Afterward
On the drive home, I turned on my cell phone.
I was mildly dismayed and amused that I had barely any texts or emails. It turns out my hypothesis was correct - I'm not that important! I missed my phone much less than I thought I would. I didn't feel the need to check my phone throughout the days though I did miss connecting with my friends and family and was happy to be back in touch.
I found the transition back into my life somewhat jarring.
After a few days of following a simple, predictable routine with so few stimulants, I felt overwhelmed by sensations. Our instructors had warned us that transitioning from the retreat, where the only stimuli were watching nature or feeling a cool breeze, might take a few days.
As I write this, I'm struck that two people are walking by in conversation - a mundane occurrence that seems incredible at the moment.I have noticed a few changes in me, as well. I find myself being quieter and wanting quiet - I didn't play any music or podcasts on the drive home, something unheard of. I took a walk sans phone and headphones – again, unusual given my desire to consume knowledge and content.
I am more content with simply being and savoring the moment rather than always doing.I find myself being more mindful. I feel more intentional about my actions. When I find myself distracted, I am now better at noticing and bringing my attention back to whatever I was doing initially. This is helpful for me as a writer, which requires concentrating for long periods. I also feel more peaceful. I can better catch my thoughts and emotions before they engulf me. I'm also thinking more deeply about which minor details and more significant components of my life I want to keep.
I also feel a greater capacity to enjoy life after three days of silence. The world is so lively, and I want to participate in all that the world offers - I want to enjoy the energy.
I realized that I love my life and am eager to return to it. I started meditating when my life was chaotic and stressful, but now meditation helps me savor my life.And dare I say it, I feel slightly more compassionate and patient. Stepping back from the world for a few days helped me develop a greater perspective of life - for its wondrous, fleeting, and constantly in flux nature. Given our short time on this earth, I am starting to see the pointlessness of judging and becoming angry when someone's behavior, including mine, falls below my expectations. Only time (and those around me) can tell.
Would I attend another silent day retreat?
Honestly, I didn't enjoy the retreat. The retreat was like going on a diet - good for you but painfully dull.
I didn't like the monotonous schedule when I was used to over-extending myself. I didn't like the lack of movement when I'm usually constantly fidgeting. I didn't like intellectual inactivity when I typically have a racing mind.I'm also aware of the incredible benefits of daily meditation practice and attending a multi-day silent retreat. As a result, I feel more alive, focused, calm, and compassionate.
I suspect that regularly attending a silent meditation retreat and attending a longer retreat would be helpful for my well-being and productivity. I’ll probably participate in another retreat in another year. I suspect it's like exercise - you have to practice regularly to build these mental and emotional coping muscles and skills.
I plan to attend the silent one-day retreats at the Jikogi center quarterly. In addition, I want to design a digital detox quiet nature weekend 1-2x a year. Even better would be to practice at least one weekly day of silence, meditation, and digital detox - a Sabbath of sorts. I have long toyed with this idea, and this experience may be a great way to kick off that practice.
Would I recommend Spirit Rock and this retreat?
Yes, I would definitely recommend this retreat and Spirit Rock. The entire event was meticulously planned and substantively thought out. I would especially recommend it for a beginner like myself to ease into a more extended retreat. I would also research Spirit Rock, its mission and philosophy, and whether the rigorous approach seems right. You can visit or call Spirit Rock and communicate directly with the retreat teachers. If you do not enjoy group meditations or want a more tailored approach, I would inform Spirit Rock in advance.
Spirit Rock Silent Meditation Retreat
How to find and prepare for a silent meditation retreat:
If you’re thinking of signing up for a meditation retreat, here are a few meditation centers I’ve attended or heard good things about:
If you don’t already have a daily meditation practice, definitely start meditating daily. Attending a meditation retreat is kinda like running a marathon - it takes training and practice. I knew a few people who jumped directly into a multi-day silent retreat without having any meditation practice. Many people find it excruciating after day two or three, so they leave early.
When you sign up for the retreat, inquire with the facility about expectations during the retreat. Here are some questions I would ask:
What kind of support or resources does the facility provide if you have experienced trauma and meditation brings forth that trauma?
Will there be talking allowed during the retreat?
What’s the schedule?
Will there be walking and sitting meditation?
Will there be Dharma talks?
How much access and engagement will you have with the instructors?
Will there be group meditation and solo meditation opportunities?
Are you required to attend every session?
What’s the housing like? Will you be sharing rooms with anyone?
Are you allowed to bring food? Will you be allowed to keep food in your housing?
Will you be indoors or outdoors?
Will the center provide meditation chairs and cushions or should you bring your own?
What will the menu be like?
Will you be required to turn over your cell phones?
I would pack a water bottle, comfortable clothes, and shoes, anything you might need to exercise during the retreat, a notebook and pen, daily medicines and toiletries, and any special dietary items.
Further Reading:
Here are a few other blog posts that describe silent meditation retreat experiences. These posts also discuss the theory and spirituality behind meditation and retreats.
What do you think? Leave a comment below!
Have you or would you consider attending a silent meditation retreat? Was this article helpful in helping you decide whether you may be interested in attending a retreat?
Know someone who might find this useful?
If you found this post helpful, please share it with someone else who might find it helpful.
